Michael Richards vs Gloria Allred

By now everyone has heard about or seen Michael Richards go berzerk with racial slurs during his stand-up comedy act. Thanks to the internet, there's no need to miss one sordid, ugly word of his tirade against a heckler from his audience during his performance. What amazes me is where this story is leading.

I have not paid particularly close attention to this story because, frankly, I am not shocked or blown away by the fact that people still use the "N" word or say blatantly racist or bigoted things. I'm a woman... we get our own share of the verbal dump morons take whenever they have nowhere else to go to vent their frustration or rage or insecurity. So, if Mel Gibson or Michael Richards or Kelly Ripa make insulting remarks, I'm not shocked or appalled, and I really don't understand why anyone else is either.

But with Michael Richards, I have to say I didn't see this next step coming. After his apology I mean. Okay, after his apology -- such as it was. I don't think it's possible to satisfactorily apologize for hurling the insults he used and have it be perceived as anything other than trying to save your own ass. Still, I expected that would be the end of it. Hah! Not by a long shot.

The person Michael Richards insulted has decided to take this whole incident much further. He has contacted or been contacted by Gloria Allred who will represent him in... well it's hard to know what exactly to call this because there's really no name for the kind of case it represents. I don't know if there's a legal term for Sticks And Stones, but if there is I'm sure Gloria Allred will slither out from under her rock and find it.

Here's the plan...

Michael Richards, the guy he offended, and a retired judge will sit down together and discuss the way in which Richards has harmed this other man. The retired judge, who by the way, has absolutely no legal authority to do anything, will determine how much compensation the offendee should receive for what Richards said. After the "compensation" figure is determined, it's then up to Richards whether or not he'll pay it.

And if he doesn't? Well then, according to Alred, Richards will just have to accept responsibility for whatever comes next. Legally that would be... nothing but whatever publicity Allred can scare up for her client. But essentially Michael Richards can thumb his nose at this whole business, and there's nowhere else for it to go. Gloria Allred is doing her best to make it sound like something more can happen, but that's just the usual Allred smoke and mirrors.

I really hope this story goes away without anymore attention. Michael Richards' behavior is indefensible, but I think situations like this get settled in the court of public opinion.

Gloria Allred, however, is a whole other matter. Her injection into this mess comes down to taking sides between a racist and someone who epitomizes a huge, crimson, pus-oozing, infected carbuncle on the entire legal profession.

In a case like that, rather than choose, I just want to go wash.