"Our Demands" Compliments Of Total Kaos

I love this list. It's absolutely perfect and exactly what we have every right (or should that be Left?) to expect now that the cratz are taking over Congressional leadership...

Our Demands

1) All disease is to be cured by public sponsored embryonic stem cell medical breakthroughs.

2) Social Security is to be made fully solvent for all time.

3) 0% unemployment.

4) The elimination of Wal-Mart.

5) Karl Rove arrested for his role in planning 9-11.

6) Free health care, cradle to grave, for all. Paid for through the use of grants, maybe?

7) 0 dead or injured children.

8) Positive and verifiable increase in national test scores.

9) Drivers licenses for illegals.

10) The Bush daughters drafted into the military.

11) The elimination of the combustion engine.

12) More Arctic ice for the polar bears.

13) $2.00 a gallon gas tax.

14) Hang Dick Cheney.

15) Pardon Saddam Hussein.

16) Illegalization of cigarettes.

17) Legalize marijuana.

18) Repeal the 2nd Amendment.

19) The words ‘conservative’ and ‘Republican’ are to be replaced with ‘Nazi’ and ‘fascist’.

20) Make hunting punishable by death.

21) The fairness doctrine is to be implemented.

22) Crosses are to be banned from all public and private arenas.

23) The divisive word ‘Christmas’ is to be banned and replaced with ‘Holiday’.

24) Civil and Miranda rights are to be given to all captured terrorists, insurgents, and non-uniformed foreign fighters.

25) Bring our military boys and girls home where it’s safe.

26) Use diplomacy to make allies of North Korea, Iran, and Venezuela.

27) Canonize Castro.

28) Raise taxes on the rich until they are middle class.

29) End all poverty(Allow Link cards access to sales at Best Buy).

30) Put an end to terrorism through the use of appeasement policy.

31) Impeach George W. Bush.

32) Allow Al Queda untapped access to the American phone system.

33) Repeal all gender identity.

34) More port security – 100% container inspections.

35) Maximum wage implemented.

36) As promised, win the war in Iraq.

37) Lower taxes.

38) No impeachment for Bush.

39) Continued tyranny of the minority.

40) Properly equipt and armor our troops.

41) Lower gas prices and windfall profits tax.

42) New, inexpensive alternative fuels.

43) No digging in ANWR, off the East and West coasts, or in the Gulf of Mexico.

44) Eliminate dependency on foreign oil.

45) Tag Israel a terrorist state.

46) Massive tax on SUVs.

47) Amnesty. Amnesty. Amnesty.

48) Reinstate tax on the dead.

49) Free condoms in school lunches.

50) Begin Congressional hearings on fast food restaurants.

So there you have it, our 50 demands.

So let’s get to it Lefties, time is running short.