Let's Be Careful Out There

There is an epidemic sweeping this country, and to date no one has even begun a group with a nationally televised concert or Hollywood sponsored celebrity talk-in to address this problem. And it IS a problem. It's HUGE and growing day by day.

The worst part of the problem is the apathy it receives. No one will stand up and be counted by either word or deed to stop this insidious pandemic from taking over the globe... and that's IF it hasn't done so already.

The name of this pernicious and harmful disease is incompetenceious humanoidis, and if you don't think it's embedded right where you live, work, and breathe, then you haven't been paying attention, because it's everywhere, people. EVERYWHERE!

Take, for example, a typical day in the life of me. I get up in the morning fully intending to go about my business, bothering no one. But can everyone just accept that and leave me in peace? Heavens, no. There must be a global alert saying Let's Fuck With Ma Titwonky Today, and for reasons I'll never understand, everyone is in agreement.

• I get my monthly delivery from Zooba. Not only have they sent me the wrong book, but they've sent me all the information on the person's account who should have received this book. So now I'm wondering who has MY book and MY account information.

Mystery Guild, BOMC, Literary Guild, Doubleday Book Club, and Zooba are all run by the same company. From personal experience with this company over at least a 5 year period, if not longer, I have discovered that to work for Book Club Associates, or whatever it is they call themselves, a person must be actively brain dead. Yes, I know, that's a contradiction in terms, but the person has to KNOW he, she, or it is brain dead so that he, she, or it can apply to this place of business for employment. Once employed, the person must qualify to work in The Garden which is a nice way of saying he, she, or it must be in a vegetative state (but ambulatory) so that communication is impossible. I know this because I have been participating in a very frustrating exchange with a bunch of its from the Mystery Guild... a club to which I no longer belong but who keeps sending me bills for merchandise I don't have.

Then there's Big Fish Games. Those people have absolutely no understanding of the English language which makes communication with them a nightmare.

Those people are not quite in The Garden, but they do have an affliction which causes them to see every problem as the same problem with the same solution. My problem was that I couldn't download a file from their site. They kept telling me to solve this problem by doing tricks with their program client. This had absolutely nothing to do with my problem. I couldn't get the file as far as the program client since I couldn't get the file off their site. Yet no matter how I explained it, and I did resort to language one would use with a 2 year old, they insisted upon giving me the same solution which was irrelevant to my problem. When I became impatient with this response, they told me to remain respectful. I wanted to tell them to respect this: ,,!,, but I was sure they'd only tell me again to do more deleting and patch fixing of their program client.

After that there was the problem with my doctor's office. I needed to have a prescription refilled. My pharmacy faxed the information to the doctor's office for approval twice on two consecutive days. A week later I still was not able to get the prescription.

The doctor I see is an internist and is part of a larger group of doctors covering a variety of specialists. I like my doctor very much, but the rest of the office and particularly the staff are no better than Garden Rejects. For one thing, no one answers the phone there. When you call, all you can get is voice mail unless you stay on the line for the operator who, depending upon her mood, will hang up on you. I refuse to speak to machines at that place because those people do not answer their messages, and they tell you that depending upon what time of the day you call, your message will not be returned until the next day or possibly the next. They also say that if you are calling about a REAL (emphasis theirs) medical emergency, you should hang up and call 911. I once asked how many fake medical emergencies they get and if they answer those. I received no answer. Or maybe I wasn't home when they called back after 48 or 72 hours.

In any event, this time I was determined to talk to a real person no matter how long it took me to get one on the line and no matter how many times the operator hung up on me. (She only did it once.) I asked to be connected to the Office Manager. I was told she was busy, but I could get her voice mail. I said I'd wait, and I did. 20 Minutes later I got the OM. I told her about my problem with the prescription. She personally called the pharmacy and renewed the prescription for me after repeatedly assuring me that this sort of thing never happens at their office. She did a dry little sniff when I explained that it isn't possible to use the word never in this case because this happened to me so never is out of the question.

Since I had her on the phone, I also asked her about a billing entry on my statement which said I owe $30 for the administration of an injection. I was already charged for the injection -- that charge was $20. So I want the $30 resolved because it's inaccurate.

That's when I found out that my doctor's office has decided to bill everyone who receives an injection from them a fee of $30 just for sticking the needle in my arm. This takes, oh... roughly... 10 seconds (if that), and for this my insurance will be charged the price of the serum in the injection as well as $30 for sticking it in my arm. This is insane. The Office Manager did not agree. She said that before January 2007 an office could not bill for this service, but after January 2007 the office is allowed to do this whether insurance covers it or not.

I asked if the increased revenue from the administered injections could be used to hire people willing to answer the phone and speak to patients when they call. The Office Manager was not amused by by question. I was not trying to amuse her.

This is merely a small sample of a typical day in the life of anyone who has to interact with people outside the home. I don't care if it's customer service or if it happens to be customers... if you are sane, you will undoubtedly be spending the majority of your day among those who are not.

So, like I said, people, Let's Be Careful Out There. And as my father often told me... "Don't let the bastards get you down."