Woman Killed By Her 60th Birthday Present

I have frequently stated that I am not a pet lover. I don't have a dog or a cat or a goldfish or a gerbil or a ferret (I used to be married to Fuzzlenuts who looked like a ferret though, if that counts). Other people can have all the pets they want, and that's fine by me. I'm not looking to stop anyone from getting whatever it is they get from having a pet. Just don't expect me to visit if I have to deal with your dogs jumping all over me or sniffing my crotch, or having your cat snuggle up to my leg. I don't have a pet because I don't want one; and I don't want yours either.

Which is why when I saw the headline entitled Pet Camel Kills Australian Woman, I felt absolutely no sympathy for the woman. Didn't feel sorry for her family either -- they're the idiots who gave the woman the camel as her 60th birthday present.

The camel, who weighs 330 pounds, knocked the woman to the ground and then lay on top of her in what experts on camels explain away as mating behavior. So not only did this camel engage in some antisocial behavior by knocking the woman down, but he then wanted to have sex with her. You gotta wonder about a camel that doesn't know the difference between a human being and another camel, especially when the horniness hits. But then, more to the point, you REALLY gotta wonder about a woman who wants to have a camel as a pet and the family who grants her wish.

This isn't exactly a question that has me up nights pondering, but I have wondered what on earth possesses people to want dangerous untamed animals as pets. Recently I saw there's been a book released about a family that adopted a buffalo to live with them. A buffalo. While my knowledge of buffalo ranks right up there with what I know about the mating habits of the Sugar Glider which would be zilch, I have seen a buffalo in a petting zoo. (That place gave me the creeps. I was taken there by force after it was repeatedly pointed out to me that if I were a good mother, I'd want to give my children the opportunity to get up close and personal with smelly animals who may want to lick them. Even thinking about that experience now makes me shudder.)

I do know, however, that buffalo are big, clumsy animals who are usually accompanied by an entourage of flies and have been known to stampede on occasion. I could definitely not warm up to an animal that has a dominant stampede gene. But this family adopted the buffalo, nurtured it, and believed it was part of their family. It's a buffalo, for crying out loud. It would cozy up to anyone who fed it regularly.

So if I don't get why someone wants to have a pet buffalo, I sure don't understand those who want tigers, alligators, or animals that are nothing but polecats or the larger or mutated version of a rat. That means a camel would be totally out of the question.

And I'll just bet, if that woman in Australia had the ability to speak for herself now which she can't because her camel killed her, but if she could speak I'll bet her opinion on pet camels would have changed considerably. Probably right about the time her pet camel wanted to mate with her. Anything I've ever read about camels has been to the effect that they do not have a particularly pleasant disposition and have been known to spit at people. This does not conjure up the image of sitting quietly in front of a fireplace watching the flames slowly recede to ash while stroking the belly of my pet camel. Besides that, how does one ever become truly comfortable when it's unknown what that camel has on his mind, and it probably isn't waxing poetic about that nice cozy fire but has more to do with getting one's rocks off.

This is another of those events that wouldn't have had to happen if everyone involved has used a little restraint and a whole lot of common sense. And in this case, there was no second chance opportunity. It is sad when someone dies who didn't need to meet such a terrible end, but you know, it seems to me if people insist on being morons they need to learn there's consequences. Even if it's death.