Those Darn Cratz: They Sent In The Clowns

Yesterday two of my favorite reality shows aired on C-Span. First was the Senate Foreign Relations Committee hearing with General David Petraeus and Ambassador Ryan Crocker. Immediately after that was the Senate Armed Services Committee hearing, also with Petraeus and Crocker.

Senator Joe Biden chaired the Foreign Relations Committee hearing as only Joe Biden can. At one point in the proceeding he cautioned Petraeus and Crocker that because of time constraints they would have to make their answers shorter. Yet at no time did Biden bother to caution Senators who were grandstanding and making long elaborate speeches that required Petraeus and Crocker to submit written answers to the committee thereby refusing to allow them public explanations to cheap shots and jabs below the belt.

And no one is better at taking those cheap shots and below the belt jabs than Barbara Boxer. As a matter of fact, she came armed with charts and graphs and a cute little go-fer to nicely place all those visual aids on an easel for her. At no time was she cautioned about time constraints or, for that matter, theatrics. That woman should have her tongue lengthened so it can be wrapped around her head and tied in a knot at the crown of her head -- you know the spot... it's where the point is.

There is one fact that needs to be stated right up front before any discussion about the progress of lack of it in Iraq is discussed. Both General Petraeus and Ambassador Crocker have completely thankless jobs. They have been given an assignment, and it is their duty to achieve that mission to the best of their ability. While they are accountable to Washington for what they do, at no time should anyone get the insipid notion that what they do and how they do it is guaranteed to work over the long haul. Both men inherited a complete and total mess out of which they are supposed to create order where so far there's only been chaos. Further it is beyond assinine to expect either of those two men, both seasoned professionals, to layout and then perfectly adhere to time lines. As a matter of fact, expecting such a result at this point in time goes beyond assinine right into the category of infuckingcredibly stupid.

Why then, do you suppose, that the Cratz from both the Foreign Relations Committee and the Armed Services Committee not only expected precise answers to their hypothetical questions, but also seemed to hold Petraeus and Crocker personally responsible for the lack of progress so far? And let's be clear about something else here... the definition of "lack of progress." That has become a purely subjective term depending upon who is talking about it at the moment. If the Wingers dare mention even the slightest hint of progress, the Cratz are all over them like the paparazzi on Britney Spear's crotch. There's a whole lot of screaming about rose colored glasses and being yes-men for the Bush Administration.

And if we listen to what the Cratz have to say on any subject even halfway related to Iraq, it sounds like George Bush is sitting in the Oval Office (where Willie once got his bj's) trying to figure out new and creative ways to get soldiers killed and put the American people in jeopardy of being annihilated.

At least that's what the Hill part of HillBillie wants us to believe when she talks about Bin Laden still being at large. Of all people to bring that up, she should be the last person to throw stones on that score since it was her husband under her joint presidency who allowed Bin Laden to get away... twice.

Add to this already unstable mix the lunatics at MoveOn.org and their insulting, slanderous diatribe in the New York Times against General Petraeus (calling him General Betray-us), and you've got a show far better than Evil Dick and whether or not he's going to get kicked off Big Brother any time soon.

Or at least that's what I thought before I tuned into the night time crap that passes for commentary on MSNBC. Keith Olbermann has completely lost his mind and is now making up stuff he's passing off as political criticism. When he's shot his load, we get Chris Mathews on Hardball who is interviewing Joe Biden.

I believe it is too late to add a nomination to the Emmy Awards for this season since I believe they air this month. But it is certainly not too late to nominate both Matthews and Biden for an Oscar award. Never mind that they appear on television. They never let minor details like facts interfere with what they say, so we shouldn't have to be concerned about the accuracy of the medium to which they've been nominated for outstanding recognition.

Matthews had his dress up over his head because of an answer Petraeus gave to a question asked by Senator John Warner. The question required Petraeus to give an opinion on whether what is being done by this country right now in Iraq will make the US safer. Petraeus answered honestly... he said he didn't know. For that Matthews spent an hour of tv time crucifying him, and Biden got to put on one of his choked up, I-may-burst-into-tears-at-any-moment-because-I-love-the-troops-so-much performances. Meanwhile my gag reflex finally got the best of me. I'd made it through both Senate hearings without so much as a gulp of bile. But by the time Matthews and Biden kicked it into high, my stomach was on bullshit overload.

I was interested in hearing the reports from Petraeus and Crocker. Both of them have extremely difficult jobs made even more challenging by the fact that they have to answer questions from a bunch of morons who have not bothered to educate themselves on what the conditions in Iraq are. The country is a mess with ruined infrastructure, civil uprisings, terrorism increasing, and a citizenry that was accustomed under Hussein of having all its needs and wants taken care of. Now they need to get their own jobs, earn their own money, buy their own food, get their own transportation, and hope to Allah that today they have electricity both at work and at home. If just one school is opened and equipped with teachers and supplies, that is a huge accomplishment. If the school has running water and electricity, a miracle has happened.

Except it isn't a miracle. Whatever is being fixed, it is thanks to the United States and more of more of the Iraqi people working in tandem with them. This takes time and money and patience. What it does not need is some Senator back in Washington, DC who has food and water and transportation and electricity talking about how Bush lied to get us in Iraq in the first place.

• Bush did not lie. The information he gave to the American People and the Congress was information every other global intelligence service believed.


• Regardless of how we got there, we're there. Put on your big peoples' panties and accept that so we can advance to the next steps in the process of getting back out of Iraq without the whole country crumbling in shambles once we've gone.

There is no question that the situation in which we find ourselves in Iraq has become untenable. There is also no question that the Iraqi people need to start being accountable for more of their own ways of life. We should not and cannot stay there indefinitely. But that is absolutely no reason to badger and malign the two men assigned to turn the situation around. We should be supporting their efforts. What possible good is it doing to hurl invectives at them for everything they say and everything they do? They have been assigned a mission, and like good soldiers, their jobs entail completing those missions successfully.

Anyone who does not share that goal, and I heard far too many Cratz express their disgust and resolve not to cooperate (with help from a few Wingers) in this objective, needs to sit down and STFU. And they'd better do it over in a corner facing away from the rest of the civilized world. That's what unruly children get ordered to do when their behavior justifies it. Well, I've heard enough Cratz tantrums to last me a lifetime. It is not merely a matter of wanting to hear only good news. It's a matter of objectively looking at the data available on how progress is increasing or decreasing and then finding solutions to keep it moving forward. We certainly aren't going to get anywhere but backwards if the Cratz have anything to say about it.

Just one more thing. Barack Obama. I'm not voting for Barack Obama and yesterday settled that one for me once and for all. I like my candidates to be men, not little wimpy girly boys who are afraid to say the word A-S-S and need to spell it instead. I find it deplorable that a man will so easily assign motives to others and accuse them of all kinds of untruthful, criminal behavior very publicly, but he's afraid to utter A-S-S in a Senate hearing. Not only have the Cratz sent in the clowns, but they sent us the ones with no balls.