The Kite Runner and Gone, Baby, Gone

According to A J Jacobs, who wrote The Know-It-All, which I am now reading, Sherlock Holmes had a theory that there's only so much room in the mental attic. I'm going to take A J Jacobs' word for that because I don't want to read any Sherlock Holmes novels to find out if he, in fact, says such a thing. I've tried reading Sherlock Holmes, and the guy bores me to tears. Okay, maybe not tears, but at least a feeling of being verklempt and needing to take a break.

So, in spite of the fact that Sherlock Holmes is a fictional character, I'm going to believe this theory of his and apply it to Hollywood as the answer for why the people there are so freaking stupid. The collective mental attic of those who work in the entertainment industry must be so full to overflowing that they just don't get simple common sense. Why else would they postpone the release of two movies this year for a few weeks only to eventually put these films on display in movie theaters throughout the US even though they themselves believe there's PR problems with the movies.

Take Gone, Baby, Gone which got so much attention because Ben Afleck directed it. It should have been released by now, but it wasn't. Know why? Because Madeleine McCann was kidnapped in Portugal, and her story was all over the news right around the time Gone, Baby, Gone was to open in theaters. So, the head honchos in charge of distributing this film decided to postpone its opening for a few weeks. You know, until Madeleine's image isn't plastered all over every news site in the world.

This, of course, does not mean that Gone, Baby, Gone, won't still be about a kidnapped child, because, of course, it will. But maybe ticket buyers won't mind so much if they don't have to look at a real child who has mysteriously disappeared in newspaper headlines as opposed to a fake one. If we're going to exploit the subject of child kidnapping for entertainment purposes, let's at least have the good taste not to do it right smack in the face of a real family's horrific personal crisis. Just give 'em a couple weeks to get hold of themselves, and then the movie gets released no matter what the subject matter.

Then there's the postponed release date for The Kite Runner. The Kite Runner story is based on the event of a child being sodomized by bullies. Thank goodness we don't have any glaring headlines with actual names and circumstances broadcast all over the world about this topic. No, that's not the reason The Kite Runner release date has been changed to some time in December.

This time the reason is because the child actors who recreated this horrific event are afraid for their lives once they return home and word gets out about their movie and new found celebrity. The story takes place in Afghanistan, and apparently the producers of The Kite Runner have concerns that the lives of their young stars could be in danger because of how this tale depicts the culture of the area.

You can see their dilemma. In the US if a child is bullied, he is the brunt of practical jokes and often beatings at the hands of his peers who like to pull the wings off flies and generally kick dead dogs. But The Kite Runner suggests that bullies in Middle Eastern countries prefer to sodomize their victims. Since we're trying to boost the image of Muslims as a group, it just wouldn't do to recreate what is insinuated to be a routine form of hazing.

Apparently the quick fix to this problem is to delay the release of the movie for several months giving the children involved time to make arrangements to live under protection in the United Arab Emirates. Kind of like the Witness Protection Program for children who have been exploited and then cannot be returned from whence they came to suffer the consequences of their actions.

What I cannot wrap my head around is that no one thought before or during the filming of this movie that the children's lives could be put into jeopardy because they participated in recreating this crime. All of a sudden it's Showtime and..... Oooooops. Maybe we really shouldn't put this movie on the street right now. But what the hell, give it a few months and we'll do it then. See what I mean? There has to be a mental attic overload for this kind of reasoning to make any sense. If now isn't the appropriate time to release this movie because it could endanger the lives of the actors who filmed it, then maybe, just maybe, there is NO good time to release it.

I remember back when Dirty Dancing was released and so many people went batshit because of the dancing performed in the movie. Why, "it was like watching people have sex with their clothes on," was the most common reaction to the dance sequences. Yet no one ever mentioned in one single article or television program I saw on the subject that this movie was about a botched abortion. It was perceived to be all about the dancing, and no one seemed to notice the actual subject matter of the movie. To this day people remember that, "No one puts Baby in a corner," but do they remember the actual plot of the movie? No one I've asked does, but that's not exactly a well structured scientific survey. Still, it tells me that people see what they want to see, and they can have very selective memories for what they remember. And besides that, there is an overwhelming pattern of desensitization to violence and ugliness in this society.

I think if there's something so wrong with Gone, Baby, Gone and with The Kite Runner then why just postpone them? Why not just admit this is inappropriate material and forget about it? But that would be like asking Hollywood to trade in their common cents for a little common sense. Like that'll ever happen.