It's Gonna Be A PSG Christmas??????

On the way to do the weekly grocery shopping, we saw two of the new buses our town's transit authority has purchased. Apparently someone went batshit with the color scheme. We now have a peepie shit green bus with a red stripe running through the middle of all 4 sides. There is also a day-glo orange bus with a blue stripe bisecting the bottom and top halves of the bus. While it's true that there will be no problem seeing these buses coming for miles and miles on an uncluttered horizon, it's also true that these are two of the ugliest monstrosities on the roads of our city right now. Whatever happened to good old tasteful gun-metal gray? I would rather walk than try to keep my stomach from heaving as I watch those doors open and am expected to hike up the 3 steps to my seat. It's bad enough that the bus is peepie shit green. It's down right criminal to have it moving as well.

I have this thing about colors and how people mess with them. For instance, I hate blue Christmas lights. Blue is not a Christmas color. It isn't a Holiday Season color either. It flat out does not belong on the spectrum of colors to choose when decorating for just about any holiday you can name. But blue Christmas lights are the worst. I've seen whole houses decorated with those little blue Christmas lights, and it actually hurts my eyes to look at them. It really doesn't matter how much I protest both online and off; people still use those infernal blue lights and desecrate the Holiday color scheme.

I thought this was as bad as it could get. I was wrong.

As we walked into WalMart to get our weekly supply of food, the first thing we saw was a huge Christmas tree with very large Christmas balls on it. Never mind that it isn't even Thanksgiving yet and we've just barely made it past Halloween. Christmas is coming, and WalMart is getting ready.

I could accept that because what choice do I really have? Marketing gurus seem to think it's never too early to plan for the Holidays, and who am I to argue? Besides, they won't listen to me anyway. But I must protest the Christmas tree WalMart has begun to decorate. They're using..... you ready? Peepie Shit Green Christmas balls.

So I'm wondering -- when did Peepie Shit Green become THE color of choice for not only buses but Christmas balls? Was there a vote taken on this? If there was, no one informed me. I'll bet that sneaky old Nancy Pelosi mother henned all her cratz representatives into some hidey hole and held a secret vote which she then released to bus manufacturers and WalMart tree decorators. It would be just like her to do something underhanded like that. And I'll bet Barbara Boxer was in charge of creating the diversion so Nancy could pull off her little color coup. Just take a look at either one of those women and you just know that they must consult with Madeleine Albright for color palette tips.

According to the notice at WalMart there are 52 shopping days left until Christmas. That means there are 52 days left for merchants to gross us out with peepie shit green paraphernalia before we can finally retreat to a safe color like Red for Valentine's Day.

I like Christmas, and I'd really hate to give it up. But I refuse to spend it surrounded by peepie shit green. That's just unacceptable.